Sex with your housemates: wrong or inevitable? So far it’s been non-existent, not because of any rule or promise I made to myself when I moved in, it just hasn’t happened. Lately, it’s been on my mind a bit, the question of whether a house full of homos will eventually see some eating-in, particularly when none of us have done much eating-out lately – I’m sure such a question has been researched into using mice in a laboratory somewhere. I don’t know why I’ve started to think about this, maybe it’s because I’ve past my first anniversary in the house.

It’s not like it’s something that isn’t talked about; on the contrary, there’s plenty of joking about it and sometimes some very heavy innuendo-fire, but once something becomes a joking point, it kind of loses it’s threat. We’re all so different anyway (in fact I can sum them up using single adjectives: Skin; Hippy; and Partyboy – okay I cheated on that one), we’re into different guys and, besides, I’ve never particularly fancied any of my housemates. I was aware, however, when I first looked round the house and met the guys that they probably wouldn’t be solely choosing someone on the merits of their references and I would have to pass the RIMMED test (Roomie I’d Most like to Make Eat Dick), which I guess I did. I’m guilty of this too: when we were interviewing for a new guy this year the conversation after meeting each candidate followed the order of: personality, shaggability, social hangouts, music taste, dress sense, likely cock size and active/passive? – No, just kidding, we’re not really that shallow, we wouldn’t judge someone after 10 minutes on his personality. I found out recently that Partyboy had made a bet with Skin when I moved in over whether Skin would shag me before our first Xmas! He didn’t. I think there’s also the factor that the longer you know someone, and haven’t had sex, the less likely it is. In fact, sometimes I quite like the sexual tension it creates and the game of trying to see each other’s bits, and getting a part-glimpse here and there, building up a picture, but never getting it on a plate.

Another thing that occurs to me is the amount of masturbating that must go on in the house! I know who likes to do it in the bathroom; in fact I’ve got to know some of the guys’ wanking routines and habits. I wonder if masturbating in men is like menstruation in women; after a while it synchs.

There have definitely been times when I’ve felt horny enough for something to happen, had the opportunity been there – usually about 2am. I expect it’s been the same for the other guys, but so far it’s never happened at the same time, and in the cold light of day, I’ve always been glad. None of the guys has enough to make me lust after them, just aspects of them – if I could take the best bits from each and construct the Ultimate Fucking Housemate, that would be great. Guess it’ll have to be a house orgy then, with my eyes closed…