Apologies for my lengthy absence, but I have been waiting for broadband to be installed in my new flat. Now I am up and running again with a wireless setup so I could be writing this while on the toilet, but I promise I’m not. It also means that I have been without my supply line of pornographic material and have been forced to turn to other sources i.e. DVD – how last century.

I’ve never been a big buyer of DVD porn as it’s bloody expensive and has limited repeat viewing appeal; I mean, once you know how it ends why watch it again? Fortunately, during my ‘disconnect’ I managed to acquire (don’t ask me to reveal my sources) a load of gay porn epics with titles like ‘Ass Stretcher’ and ‘Meat Packing’; all very hardcore stuff, with lots of muscled, well endowed, skinheads ‘doing’ each other rather impolitely up the bum. It’s an orgy of cockrings, tattoos, spit, shaved heads and some serious thrusting. It’s not the kind of thing I would normally pick out – I think the last DVD I bought was probably a Bel Ami one with the kind of nice young boys your mum would be happy for you to bring home, and I did find some of the more extreme action a bit wince inducing – how do some of those guys sustain hours of forceful thrusting by queues of guys with massive cocks?

However, I found myself getting pretty turned on – hardcore gay sex now has a new fan! And I don’t think there’s any turning back. You can keep your dull, prettily shot, pretty boy action of Bel Ami with not a hair in site; I’ve moved on to real men. Maybe it’s a maturity thing, like learning to appreciate olives or watching the Weather on TV. All I know is it’s rough, I like it and I’m now in love with a porn star called Dawson.