I am intrigued by adverts I have seen for a day school run for gay men entitled ‘The Arse Class’ (or ‘Ass Class’) which is literally what it sounds, a chance to learn how to better enjoy giving/getting it and to, literally, stretch your arse skills. I can’t really imagine how this would work in a class of other guys – Would there be practicals? Homework? If you went on your own would you have to partner up? And what if you had last pick? Surely it’s just another disguised cruising outlet, although I’m sure there are good tips to pick up.

Wouldn’t it be great, though, if this had been one of the subject options at school? How cool would that have been? ‘Yes, I’d like to sign up for Art, Maths and Anal Sex.’ Just think of all those bad early beginner fucks it could have saved us from and it would have given new meaning to the term ‘bottom of the class.’

I remember my sex education, or lack of, and it consisted of an uptight, red faced women asking us to right down all the words we knew relating to sex, and then the class erupting in laughter when she read out ‘vibrator’ – the other time was a professor type pointing at horrifyingly scary diagrams of male and female reproductive systems – I think the experience kept me a virgin for an extra year.

Has anyone been along to one of these classes? Would be interesting to hear about it – I wonder, did you put your hand up much! Sorry.