Wouldn’t it be great if on Halloween people dressed up as the things that really frighten them? This thought came to me as I looked at the predictable costume choices on offer at my local fancy dress shop – if I found bloodsuckers, zombies and pale, skeletal figures frightening I wouldn’t go near the gay scene. It would be great though, wouldn’t it, if instead of the usual mass of copycat vampires, witches and ghouls out and about on All Hallows Eve you had the odd laywer, dentist, mother-in-law, clown, or right wing Conservative, the things that really terrify people.
So, if this were the case, what character would I be dressing up as for tomorrow night’s themed party? My high school sports teacher was pretty scary and in fact looked a lot like a troll. He was incredibly sadistic and enjoyed making boys run cross country during the Winter in just their underwear if they forget their kit. I also remember him humiliating my chubby best friend by making him attempt forward rolls over and over again in front of the whole class knowing full well he couldn’t do it. So, he’s a contender. I also fear car mechanics, or any burly manual labourer who you know is going to bullshit you and try and take you for a ride because you’re not one of them. I also have a phobia of hairdressers, but that’s just too weird to go into now.
If I didn’t fancy transforming myself too much but really wanted a scare, I could just go as me, but twenty years older and alone; or to make it even simpler I could still be twenty years older but exactly as I am now, my life still the same, stuck in time, doing all the same things, making the same mistakes, no wiser, no more content. Brrrr, just felt a shudder down my spine. No, I think I will stick to my Plan A and go as a common, old werewolf; I’ve bought all the extra facial hair now, and if the party’s shit I can always head into town – it’s bear night at one of the gay clubs.
Scary mary
Wouldn’t it be great if on Halloween people dressed up as the things that really frighten them? This thought came to me as I looked at the predictable costume choices on offer at my local fancy dress shop – if I found bloodsuckers, zombies and pale, skeletal figures frightening I wouldn’t go near the gay scene. It would be great though, wouldn’t it, if instead of the usual mass of copycat vampires, witches and ghouls out and about on All Hallows Eve you had the odd laywer, dentist, mother-in-law, clown, or right wing Conservative, the things that really terrify people.
So, if this were the case, what character would I be dressing up as for tomorrow night’s themed party? My high school sports teacher was pretty scary and in fact looked a lot like a troll. He was incredibly sadistic and enjoyed making boys run cross country during the Winter in just their underwear if they forget their kit. I also remember him humiliating my chubby best friend by making him attempt forward rolls over and over again in front of the whole class knowing full well he couldn’t do it. So, he’s a contender. I also fear car mechanics, or any burly manual labourer who you know is going to bullshit you and try and take you for a ride because you’re not one of them. I also have a phobia of hairdressers, but that’s just too weird to go into now.
If I didn’t fancy transforming myself too much but really wanted a scare, I could just go as me, but twenty years older and alone; or to make it even simpler I could still be twenty years older but exactly as I am now, my life still the same, stuck in time, doing all the same things, making the same mistakes, no wiser, no more content. Brrrr, just felt a shudder down my spine. No, I think I will stick to my Plan A and go as a common, old werewolf; I’ve bought all the extra facial hair now, and if the party’s shit I can always head into town – it’s bear night at one of the gay clubs.