I was reduced to the state of a shy, awkward teenager on today’s trip to my local greengrocers. It has become something of a guilty pleasure, visiting this shop and perusing the special items on display – this has nothing to do with the young, attractive, achingly straight skater dude serving, you understand. No, I like all the over-priced, pretentious organic stuff they sell – well, it comes in such pretty packaging…
This guy, who must be about 18, is always serving when I go in, so we’ve got to the point of friendly acknowledgement (and he has such a sexy smile!). This would be fine, but I’m sure I’ve let on how I fancy the pants off him! He’s swung round before and caught me as I’ve been checking out his also prettily packaged arse, and he’s made a comment in the past while bagging up my produce about how big and juicy the plums were – I didn’t know where to look!
On today’s visit my mind was a bit distracted as I pondered over the shelves and hadn’t even noticed the guy was in the shop, so when he shouted out if I needed any help I was a bit taken aback, then smiled when I saw him smiling back. The shop was nearly empty, however, and as I turned back to the shelves I sensed he was still watching me and started to feel very self-concious as I picked out my vegetables. Then I actually felt my face starting to redden and I was blushing! I’m a fully grown man for fuck’s sake, I thought to myself, but the more I tried to suppress it, thinking how it would expose my inner thoughts, the redder I went.
I tried to hide my face and then take attention away from it by carrying my shopping basket over to the till and banging it down in front of the young guy, but as he picked out the items it occured to me that I had a lot of very phallic shaped fruit and veg and as he handled them I started to blush again. To make matters worse he insisted on making small talk about the tastiness of their bananas.
To top it all off I hadn’t realised how much I’d been putting in my basket and was mortified that I was a few pence short. I was very apologetic and asked him to take back one of the items, but he said not to worry, that I’m a good customer and winked. I couldn’t get out of there fast enough.
There’s some strange relationship thing that goes on with certain straight guys when they know you fancy them, but it’s futile. Or I sometimes find this, anyway. They end up being overly nice, almost flirting, but then you don’t want to respond in an obvious way. It’s kind of like they sniff it out and are drawn to it, but nothing is ever going to happen. Maybe they’re overcompensating to hide their awkwardness in the same way that I’d end up underplaying it. Anyhow, I might need to find a new grocers.