Is fast, efficient sex that hits all the right buttons on cue and marches to it’s climax along the straightest possible route better or worse than long sex that takes a more rambling route and doesn’t care if it occasionally wanders down a gay sex cul-de-sac?

After enjoying Gay Fuck No. 347 with Rich last night (I don’t really know our current gay sex tally!) I looked at my watch and discovered the night was still young and I hadn’t even missed the start of Heroes on telly. This is in contrast to our fuck sessions in the early days when we’d towel our pruned skin dry after some steamy shower action and realise hours had passed. But that’s not to say the sex now is any less enjoyable or intense than it was, it’s just quicker – if our sex life was a car it’s now more like a quality, efficiently made Japanese compact, and that’s no bad thing.

It’s obvious that after a certain amount of action under the sheets, on top of the sheets, on the floor, against the wall, or in the shower, you’re going to get to know what works for each other and develop combinations and routines. Your first nights together fucking are like the R&D stage where you experiment and make mental checks of your mistakes, chucking out those wackier ideas – food NEVER works and just leaves you feeling gross. The other factor is that when you move in together and share more of the domestic stuff you get into routines and so your sex life becomes more like a module to squeeze into the day and there’s points to gain by getting through it ahead of schedule so you can do the laundry!

When we first started seeing each other our lives were much more erratic and spontaneous so there was less clock watching and no chores to put aside. Still, our sex life is far from boring and we’ve developed that closeness and tenderness when making love that only comes after time and when you stop being self-conscious and trying to impress, instead taking more pleasure from giving your partner pleasure. And there’s always make-up sex after a fight – that’s always hot!