I am now in the somewhat dubious company of the likes of Colin Farrell, Paris Hilton, Tom sizemore and Pamela Anderson; yes, it seems I have my very own sex tape that’s been ‘leaked’ onto the internet. The first I knew about this was when I received a blunt message from a guy I’ve only ever spoken to online, creepily asking if I was one of the two men fucking in the video on one of those amateur, gay tube sites that he so kindly provided a link to. Of course I denied it was me, hastily removing him from my ‘friends’ list and trying hard not to ask myself whether he had watched this video with one hand on his laptop and the other hand on his ‘laptop’, let alone all the other people who had potentially watched it by now.
So yes, it is me performing in the video with my co-star, who was my boyfriend at the time. It was a whole day before I had the courage to click the link again and watch my gay porn debut in full and as a critic rather than an outraged and betrayed ex-boyfriend. I say betrayed because at the point of splitting up my ex promised that he had destroyed the sex tape we had made one long-past Valentines Day. I know it was on my suggestion, but I can’t remember why I wanted to capture our naughtiest bits on camera. My boyfriend at the time was very good looking and I must have been 22/23, so lean and fit without having to work at it, so maybe I just wanted to capture us at our peak for posterity? Whatever, it didn’t prove a particularly sexy experience watching it six years on. Mind you, the quality was so poor having been filmed from a crap, static camera, rendering it grainy and dimly lit, that it didn’t make for the best viewing experience and you can’t make out all of the action. It’s also very timid and vanilla – looking back now – and the most extreme thing in it is the fashion mullet I was sporting at the time; what was I thinking?!
I could try and contact my ex, who moved away ages ago, and demand an explanation, but to be honest I’m not sure that the buck stops there. Steve, although good looking, was always very self-conscious body wise and he was less keen on video taping our love making than I was, so I’d be surprised if he was behind it. Anybody could have got hold of the tape: a jealous ex of his maybe. Still, he did lie about destroying the tape, which is a mistake I won’t be making in the future. Funny how it’s easy to laugh at celebrities for being dumb enough to let a sex tape get into the wrong hands, while at the same time it’s so easy for the same to happen to Joe Public like myself.
I’m not angry at my ex. Obviously I’d prefer that the video didn’t exist and wasn’t uploaded to some sweaty little site, but it’s so innocuous compared to a lot of the gay stuff out there and we were young, fit and carefree and because of the poor quality I’m not easily recognisable in it anyway. To tell the truth, it was a nice little trip down memory lane and while it wouldn’t be my first choice at notoriety, as Andy Warhol famously said, we’re all due our fifteen minutes of fame.
(Gay) sex, lies and videotape
I am now in the somewhat dubious company of the likes of Colin Farrell, Paris Hilton, Tom sizemore and Pamela Anderson; yes, it seems I have my very own sex tape that’s been ‘leaked’ onto the internet. The first I knew about this was when I received a blunt message from a guy I’ve only ever spoken to online, creepily asking if I was one of the two men fucking in the video on one of those amateur, gay tube sites that he so kindly provided a link to. Of course I denied it was me, hastily removing him from my ‘friends’ list and trying hard not to ask myself whether he had watched this video with one hand on his laptop and the other hand on his ‘laptop’, let alone all the other people who had potentially watched it by now.
So yes, it is me performing in the video with my co-star, who was my boyfriend at the time. It was a whole day before I had the courage to click the link again and watch my gay porn debut in full and as a critic rather than an outraged and betrayed ex-boyfriend. I say betrayed because at the point of splitting up my ex promised that he had destroyed the sex tape we had made one long-past Valentines Day. I know it was on my suggestion, but I can’t remember why I wanted to capture our naughtiest bits on camera. My boyfriend at the time was very good looking and I must have been 22/23, so lean and fit without having to work at it, so maybe I just wanted to capture us at our peak for posterity? Whatever, it didn’t prove a particularly sexy experience watching it six years on. Mind you, the quality was so poor having been filmed from a crap, static camera, rendering it grainy and dimly lit, that it didn’t make for the best viewing experience and you can’t make out all of the action. It’s also very timid and vanilla – looking back now – and the most extreme thing in it is the fashion mullet I was sporting at the time; what was I thinking?!
I could try and contact my ex, who moved away ages ago, and demand an explanation, but to be honest I’m not sure that the buck stops there. Steve, although good looking, was always very self-conscious body wise and he was less keen on video taping our love making than I was, so I’d be surprised if he was behind it. Anybody could have got hold of the tape: a jealous ex of his maybe. Still, he did lie about destroying the tape, which is a mistake I won’t be making in the future. Funny how it’s easy to laugh at celebrities for being dumb enough to let a sex tape get into the wrong hands, while at the same time it’s so easy for the same to happen to Joe Public like myself.
I’m not angry at my ex. Obviously I’d prefer that the video didn’t exist and wasn’t uploaded to some sweaty little site, but it’s so innocuous compared to a lot of the gay stuff out there and we were young, fit and carefree and because of the poor quality I’m not easily recognisable in it anyway. To tell the truth, it was a nice little trip down memory lane and while it wouldn’t be my first choice at notoriety, as Andy Warhol famously said, we’re all due our fifteen minutes of fame.