Last Friday I was invited to what I consider some sort of experiment by my friend whereby all his disparate, unconnected gay buddies, including myself, where thrown together in at the deep end of a Thai restaurant. I’m sure we were all looking forward to the experience with the same mixture of trepidation, suspicion and curiosity.
The night came and I met my friend and all the other guys for drinks before the meal to help break the ice. It was a real mix of guys and us band of merry homos made our way to the restaurant. It’s always a worry when sitting down for a meal with a bunch of strangers that you might end up sandwiched for two hours between Tweedledum and Tweedledull, but I faired pretty well, sitting close enough to my friend to me able to talk to him and framed by a couple of nice guys. We all joked about being part of an ‘experiment’ and that none of us knew what to expect.
It felt different being out without Rich and kind of like being single again what with chatting to loads of available strangers, some of them, I’m guessing, just looking to expand their social network, while others were clearly on a mission to get laid. One guy in particular appeared to be so on heat that I was tempted to throw a jug of water at him – he was a walking hard-on, at one point literally fucking the table!
The thing that made me laugh was that this young guy – 22, I think – was so dumb, with a childlike bewilderment and curiosity that crossed over into annoying, asking random questions all the time and displaying a lack of knowledge about most things. He would also make blunt, personal comments to people at the table, not in a malicious way, but in the way a kid would do. My friend looked increasingly embarrassed by this guy’s behavior and it bought disapproving and condescending looks from the guys around him, the same guys who would later be desperately trying to bag him on the dancefloor – that’s the bit that makes me laugh.
This 22 year old himbo made no secret of the fact that he has a lot of gay sex and frequently chases several guys in one night. He oozed sex, from the way he was dressed; the innuendo he made; the frequent body contact, winking and making eyes, and ultimately the dirty dancing show he gave us on the dancefloor, flirting with men, women, anybody who’d pay him attention, and playing the guys in our group off against one another.
The reason I mention this guy is that this sex-on-a-plate vibe is kind of the opposite feeling you have when in a long-term relationship, where it’s comfortable and you don’t strive to impress anymore, your sexuality becoming defined between yourself and one other person. I’m not saying that sharing intimacy with only one person is a bad thing, but I think you can loose something that’s an important part of being gay, and that’s your sexuality, as opposed to your Sexuality with a capital ‘S’. I’m talking about flirting!
I think being gay puts you in a unique position of being able to have that subtle sexual frisson with people of both sexes, having an extra something in your relationship and communication with them that can be appealing, that blurs the boundaries and provides more possibilities. The odd bit of harmless flirtation can make you feel more in tune with yourself and definitely put a smile on your face. I was certainly smiling a lot on Friday night.
Sex on a plate
Last Friday I was invited to what I consider some sort of experiment by my friend whereby all his disparate, unconnected gay buddies, including myself, where thrown together in at the deep end of a Thai restaurant. I’m sure we were all looking forward to the experience with the same mixture of trepidation, suspicion and curiosity.
The night came and I met my friend and all the other guys for drinks before the meal to help break the ice. It was a real mix of guys and us band of merry homos made our way to the restaurant. It’s always a worry when sitting down for a meal with a bunch of strangers that you might end up sandwiched for two hours between Tweedledum and Tweedledull, but I faired pretty well, sitting close enough to my friend to me able to talk to him and framed by a couple of nice guys. We all joked about being part of an ‘experiment’ and that none of us knew what to expect.
It felt different being out without Rich and kind of like being single again what with chatting to loads of available strangers, some of them, I’m guessing, just looking to expand their social network, while others were clearly on a mission to get laid. One guy in particular appeared to be so on heat that I was tempted to throw a jug of water at him – he was a walking hard-on, at one point literally fucking the table!
The thing that made me laugh was that this young guy – 22, I think – was so dumb, with a childlike bewilderment and curiosity that crossed over into annoying, asking random questions all the time and displaying a lack of knowledge about most things. He would also make blunt, personal comments to people at the table, not in a malicious way, but in the way a kid would do. My friend looked increasingly embarrassed by this guy’s behavior and it bought disapproving and condescending looks from the guys around him, the same guys who would later be desperately trying to bag him on the dancefloor – that’s the bit that makes me laugh.
This 22 year old himbo made no secret of the fact that he has a lot of gay sex and frequently chases several guys in one night. He oozed sex, from the way he was dressed; the innuendo he made; the frequent body contact, winking and making eyes, and ultimately the dirty dancing show he gave us on the dancefloor, flirting with men, women, anybody who’d pay him attention, and playing the guys in our group off against one another.
The reason I mention this guy is that this sex-on-a-plate vibe is kind of the opposite feeling you have when in a long-term relationship, where it’s comfortable and you don’t strive to impress anymore, your sexuality becoming defined between yourself and one other person. I’m not saying that sharing intimacy with only one person is a bad thing, but I think you can loose something that’s an important part of being gay, and that’s your sexuality, as opposed to your Sexuality with a capital ‘S’. I’m talking about flirting!
I think being gay puts you in a unique position of being able to have that subtle sexual frisson with people of both sexes, having an extra something in your relationship and communication with them that can be appealing, that blurs the boundaries and provides more possibilities. The odd bit of harmless flirtation can make you feel more in tune with yourself and definitely put a smile on your face. I was certainly smiling a lot on Friday night.