Comments on: Dropping the ball http://heartgaysex.com/2009/03/dropping-the-ball/ Gay blog about sex, love, men and life Sun, 02 May 2010 21:13:50 +0000 hourly 1 By: Matt http://heartgaysex.com/2009/03/dropping-the-ball/comment-page-1/#comment-1148 Matt Wed, 08 Apr 2009 20:48:25 +0000 http://heartgaysex.com/?p=260#comment-1148 I could never have "bad sex" with someone I was completely in tune with, with both of us acknowledging that it's bad. I think the common realization between me and my partner that this is going bad would lead to laughter and fun. In fact, I've been there before and that did happen. The only way I can imagine it really being bad is if one partner feels judged by the other - as in, one person feels like there is pressure to perform and is going to be held somehow accountable. (Accountable in a non-sexy way.) I think if you both just talk about how bad it was and are willing to laugh and make it into an amusing story, the connection is re-gained. Unless you're just totally bored with each other (which I doubt is the case after a just one bad experience). Try going out to dinner, going on a hike together, finding a new setting or doing something new to give you each a sense of novelty. I could never have “bad sex” with someone I was completely in tune with, with both of us acknowledging that it’s bad. I think the common realization between me and my partner that this is going bad would lead to laughter and fun. In fact, I’ve been there before and that did happen.

The only way I can imagine it really being bad is if one partner feels judged by the other – as in, one person feels like there is pressure to perform and is going to be held somehow accountable. (Accountable in a non-sexy way.)

I think if you both just talk about how bad it was and are willing to laugh and make it into an amusing story, the connection is re-gained.

Unless you’re just totally bored with each other (which I doubt is the case after a just one bad experience). Try going out to dinner, going on a hike together, finding a new setting or doing something new to give you each a sense of novelty.

]]> By: Uroskin http://heartgaysex.com/2009/03/dropping-the-ball/comment-page-1/#comment-778 Uroskin Wed, 25 Mar 2009 04:01:23 +0000 http://heartgaysex.com/?p=260#comment-778 Cheers for the linky love. There's some more rugby 'au naturel' here: http://uroskin.blogspot.com/search/label/rugby Cheers for the linky love.
There’s some more rugby ‘au naturel’ here: http://uroskin.blogspot.com/search/label/rugby

]]> By: Joe http://heartgaysex.com/2009/03/dropping-the-ball/comment-page-1/#comment-741 Joe Sun, 22 Mar 2009 18:19:52 +0000 http://heartgaysex.com/?p=260#comment-741 Thanks Mike. I think you raise a good point there about finding something new - there is a strong danger, after 2 years, of sticking to what's been good before, rather than what could be new and better. Thanks Mike. I think you raise a good point there about finding something new – there is a strong danger, after 2 years, of sticking to what’s been good before, rather than what could be new and better.

]]> By: Mike http://heartgaysex.com/2009/03/dropping-the-ball/comment-page-1/#comment-736 Mike Tue, 17 Mar 2009 22:28:01 +0000 http://heartgaysex.com/?p=260#comment-736 Firstly, your blog is really well written so I wanted to compliment you. Now that's out of the way; while I can't really give advice on relationships maybe this is the perfect time to find that fetish or kink you blogged about previously? Reading too much into things is my big failing so I hope you won’t be offended when I write I'm sure it will be fine and great foundation-shattering sex will be yours again soon!! Firstly, your blog is really well written so I wanted to compliment you. Now that’s out of the way; while I can’t really give advice on relationships maybe this is the perfect time to find that fetish or kink you blogged about previously? Reading too much into things is my big failing so I hope you won’t be offended when I write I’m sure it will be fine and great foundation-shattering sex will be yours again soon!!

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