You can divide gay men into two categories: those that have slept with women and those that have not. I’m not talking about bi guys, but men who identify as gay and have enjoyed (or not) some close contact with the opposite sex. This could be for so many reasons: being drunk, adolescence, peer pressure, curiosity, wanting to take an intimate friendship to the next level, procreation, doubt, and so on.
We all tend to make aesthetic choices in life and stick with them, closing ourself off to alternatives: I like Hi-NRG, not RnB; my favourite food is Chinese; it’s the city for me, not the country; trainers, not loafers etc… so it can be with sex. Some straight people dip their toe in the gay pool (believe me, I’ve felt some of the ripples), but mostly, their head has never considered the alternative, even if their heart might not see things so black and white.
I experienced that grey area last Friday when I found myself being unusually attracted to out sweet, blond waitress. I think she was Polish, certainly Eastern European. I don’t know what made her stand out to me – it’s usually the cute waiters in tight trousers that get my attention – but she was pretty, really friendly and had such a nice smile. I started to picture us doing bad things, naughty things over my pizza (not literally, because a tomato and mozzarella-covered arse wouldn’t be very sexy).
I can’t really imagine being genuinely bisexual, 50/50, half-and-half – there’s already so much eye-candy to take in every day that I don’t think I’d be able to keep up. On the other hand, I have had close female friendships that, at times, have almost felt like dating, without the sex.
So, am I about to join the not-straight-but-had-to-make-sure club? I don’t think so, but maybe I’m a little less gay than I thought? About 99.1%. Perhaps I’ll save that 0.9% for Christmas.
The opposite of gay sex
You can divide gay men into two categories: those that have slept with women and those that have not. I’m not talking about bi guys, but men who identify as gay and have enjoyed (or not) some close contact with the opposite sex. This could be for so many reasons: being drunk, adolescence, peer pressure, curiosity, wanting to take an intimate friendship to the next level, procreation, doubt, and so on.
We all tend to make aesthetic choices in life and stick with them, closing ourself off to alternatives: I like Hi-NRG, not RnB; my favourite food is Chinese; it’s the city for me, not the country; trainers, not loafers etc… so it can be with sex. Some straight people dip their toe in the gay pool (believe me, I’ve felt some of the ripples), but mostly, their head has never considered the alternative, even if their heart might not see things so black and white.
I experienced that grey area last Friday when I found myself being unusually attracted to out sweet, blond waitress. I think she was Polish, certainly Eastern European. I don’t know what made her stand out to me – it’s usually the cute waiters in tight trousers that get my attention – but she was pretty, really friendly and had such a nice smile. I started to picture us doing bad things, naughty things over my pizza (not literally, because a tomato and mozzarella-covered arse wouldn’t be very sexy).
I can’t really imagine being genuinely bisexual, 50/50, half-and-half – there’s already so much eye-candy to take in every day that I don’t think I’d be able to keep up. On the other hand, I have had close female friendships that, at times, have almost felt like dating, without the sex.
So, am I about to join the not-straight-but-had-to-make-sure club? I don’t think so, but maybe I’m a little less gay than I thought? About 99.1%. Perhaps I’ll save that 0.9% for Christmas.