There’s just one scent I want this Christmas and it’s eau de straight guy. A couple of Rich’s workmates stayed over on Friday night after their office Christmas party and the combination smell of liberally applied hetero aftershave, deodorant and hair gel that lingered the next day was quite a turn on!
It took me right back to my school days and the overpowering scent of cheap deodorant, sweat and hormones that filled the changing room after a sports lesson. That smell was like the whiff of scented roses to a sexually charged, pubescent teenager years before his first gay sex experience.
Getting changed at the swimming pool or gym is pretty good for a fix of Straight Man perfume too.
I’ve lately developed a real thing for straight men; specifically your stereotypical bloke: sport loving, pub-dwelling, Top Gear watching, gadget buying, plain dressing, bad joke telling, un-hip, straightforward, unreconstructed and kind of dull… Yep, they do it for me.
I don’t know how this particular fetish came about, but I have often fantasized about gay sex with a guy like this. He’d have to be older – in his 30′s – plain in every sense and none of this devotion to working out and body obsession. No, he’d still be in reasonably good shape from playing football with his mates occasionally at weekends and you’d be able to tell he was quite athletic in his younger days, but you’d want him to be authentic straight, so signs of a few too many beers and pies appearing around his waist – love handles, man!
This guy would be above-average looking, a bit crumpled around the edges, but his former, youthful handsomeness still intact behind his stubble, dark rings and pastiness.
My straight gay sex fantasy man might be stuck in a boring marriage, frustrated and getting his kicks from ladyboy internet porn now that his sex life has dried up. He’s also turned to boyish pursuits – computer games etc. – in order to escape his current rut.
His only gay sex experience thus far is confined to mutual hand jobs behind the bike shed and he’s never done anything particularly adventurous in the bedroom – his wife strictly missionary – but he’s always been curious about what it would be like to get fucked.
This is where I come in and show my straight bloke just what he’s been missing, saving him from a lifetime of sexual repression. I would take him on an amazing gay sex adventure, expanding his whole horizon while I, in return, get that sweet scent on my pillow – a pungent mix of naff cologne, shaving foam, sweat and something else… ah, yes: adultery.
Eau de bloke
It took me right back to my school days and the overpowering scent of cheap deodorant, sweat and hormones that filled the changing room after a sports lesson. That smell was like the whiff of scented roses to a sexually charged, pubescent teenager years before his first gay sex experience.
Getting changed at the swimming pool or gym is pretty good for a fix of Straight Man perfume too.
I’ve lately developed a real thing for straight men; specifically your stereotypical bloke: sport loving, pub-dwelling, Top Gear watching, gadget buying, plain dressing, bad joke telling, un-hip, straightforward, unreconstructed and kind of dull… Yep, they do it for me.
I don’t know how this particular fetish came about, but I have often fantasized about gay sex with a guy like this. He’d have to be older – in his 30′s – plain in every sense and none of this devotion to working out and body obsession. No, he’d still be in reasonably good shape from playing football with his mates occasionally at weekends and you’d be able to tell he was quite athletic in his younger days, but you’d want him to be authentic straight, so signs of a few too many beers and pies appearing around his waist – love handles, man!
This guy would be above-average looking, a bit crumpled around the edges, but his former, youthful handsomeness still intact behind his stubble, dark rings and pastiness.
My straight gay sex fantasy man might be stuck in a boring marriage, frustrated and getting his kicks from ladyboy internet porn now that his sex life has dried up. He’s also turned to boyish pursuits – computer games etc. – in order to escape his current rut.
His only gay sex experience thus far is confined to mutual hand jobs behind the bike shed and he’s never done anything particularly adventurous in the bedroom – his wife strictly missionary – but he’s always been curious about what it would be like to get fucked.
This is where I come in and show my straight bloke just what he’s been missing, saving him from a lifetime of sexual repression. I would take him on an amazing gay sex adventure, expanding his whole horizon while I, in return, get that sweet scent on my pillow – a pungent mix of naff cologne, shaving foam, sweat and something else… ah, yes: adultery.