I’m afraid Valentine’s Day usually gets a shrug from me: until they make a ‘Happy Gay Wedding Anniversary’ card I don’t see why I should prop up this cynical, hetero, cash-in.

This year, however, Rich and me decided to say “fuck it” to VD day – quite literally. We turned the whole weekend into a gay sex-a-thon to try and recapture the magic.

Do you know, my limbs and some less general body parts haven’t stopped aching since – even 3 hours in the gym has never felt like such an all over body workout as this 2.5 days of non-stop gay sex (minus meals, freshening up and watching G.I. Joe on DVD – Channing Tatum in latex will do it).

The idea was to take the phone off the hook, shut the curtains, whack the heating up, stay near-total naked and do nothing but fuck for the entire weekend, holding off climaxing ’til the very end.

Gay sex is very different when you take the money shot out of the equation, because it’s now 100% about the journey, not the destination, which changes your focus and you don’t just stick to the well trodden path – you can take a meandering route and explore stuff (yes, I am still talking about gay sex!).

So we both became more creative and used what was around us for inspiration. Drinking a JD and Coke, for instance, might start you wondering where you could stick that ice cube that might be fun… plus you don’t want to be repetitive (and there’s 60 hours to fill!), so you try all sorts of positions (hence the aching).

And because the gay sex rule book has been thrown out the window, there’s no expectation about how long each bout should last – you might fuck for 2 hours without stopping, or just fumble for 5 minutes, then have a break. Gay sex becomes completely spontaneous.

Another side effect of spending most of the weekend fucking, but not cumming, is that everything you do, even when you’re not having sex, becomes sexual… making a drink, you’re still aroused so you start thinking about things you can do to him and then – bam – you’re hard again!

So, how long did we last until releasing two very pent-up loads? We made it ’til sunday morning! And, do you know what, I was really glad to just put my feet up afterwards and have a cup of tea.