You might have been in a relationship and found yourself wondering about your partner’s sexual tendencies; exactly how honest they’ve been with you up ’til now about what they like to do in bed, and if there are unspoken and unconventional urges beneath the surface of your gay sex life together.
I was once in a long-term relationship with a guy whom I suspected had all manner of deep/dark sexual desires, but he never opened up about it or explored them with me – classic madonna-whore complex. I was his ‘vanilla’ boyfriend – loving, yes, but not the stuff of his eye-popping fantasies!
He did talk about his early sexual adventures as a teenager, years before we dated. His weekends back then were a time for cruising shopping centres, catching the eye of ‘straight’ – often married – older men and playing an exciting game of cat and mouse with the promise of oral sex in a public toilet cubicle.
I always felt he was suppressing a part of his sexual identity when we were together and because of this was never completely happy in himself. I did make a stab at trying to cast myself in his erotic thoughts, even suggesting we fuck in a public toilet, but he never responded to my attempts.
This raises another point about how far down a sexual road you should go if it’s not your own particular bag, although you can often discover new sexual pleasures by following the lead of someone you trust.
Another guy I dated had a thing about gay sex when there’s a danger of being caught. He surprised me one night I went over to his: literally moments after ringing the doorbell he was pulling me outside to his back garden where he had set up an inflatable mattress, ready to seduce and fuck me outdoors in the moonlight and in full view of the surrounding buildings – I’m sure we gave a few neighbours some pretty graphic mental images that night!
I came across some extreme gay sex images on Rich’s computer recently and, obviously, it’s set me wondering if there’s more depth there to be explored. Of course, finding some graphic images of a very specific gay sex act doesn’t mean anything and I’ve got myself off looking at straight porn before – doesn’t mean I want to fuck a woman.
I’m sure it’s common across both gay and straight relationships, that people don’t always fit easily into their partners sexual fantasies, but then maybe that’s the challenge, to find a way. So, grease me up – I’m ready for that big fist!
I went a bit old skool gay last weekend: watched a bit of saucy gay theatre in a shabby, old flea-pit and then went for a timewarp and a few drinks in one of the creaking, back-street old gay pubs that are firmly stuck in some distant era (including the staff).
It’s amazing how many sets of gay brothers I’ve encountered, although, as yet, no twins I’m afraid…
Eau de bloke
It took me right back to my school days and the overpowering scent of cheap deodorant, sweat and hormones that filled the changing room after a sports lesson. That smell was like the whiff of scented roses to a sexually charged, pubescent teenager years before his first gay sex experience.
Getting changed at the swimming pool or gym is pretty good for a fix of Straight Man perfume too.
I’ve lately developed a real thing for straight men; specifically your stereotypical bloke: sport loving, pub-dwelling, Top Gear watching, gadget buying, plain dressing, bad joke telling, un-hip, straightforward, unreconstructed and kind of dull… Yep, they do it for me.
I don’t know how this particular fetish came about, but I have often fantasized about gay sex with a guy like this. He’d have to be older – in his 30′s – plain in every sense and none of this devotion to working out and body obsession. No, he’d still be in reasonably good shape from playing football with his mates occasionally at weekends and you’d be able to tell he was quite athletic in his younger days, but you’d want him to be authentic straight, so signs of a few too many beers and pies appearing around his waist – love handles, man!
This guy would be above-average looking, a bit crumpled around the edges, but his former, youthful handsomeness still intact behind his stubble, dark rings and pastiness.
My straight gay sex fantasy man might be stuck in a boring marriage, frustrated and getting his kicks from ladyboy internet porn now that his sex life has dried up. He’s also turned to boyish pursuits – computer games etc. – in order to escape his current rut.
His only gay sex experience thus far is confined to mutual hand jobs behind the bike shed and he’s never done anything particularly adventurous in the bedroom – his wife strictly missionary – but he’s always been curious about what it would be like to get fucked.
This is where I come in and show my straight bloke just what he’s been missing, saving him from a lifetime of sexual repression. I would take him on an amazing gay sex adventure, expanding his whole horizon while I, in return, get that sweet scent on my pillow – a pungent mix of naff cologne, shaving foam, sweat and something else… ah, yes: adultery.